Enraptured Read online

  I shook my head. “I won’t mention him at all. It’ll be just you and me. Bride and groom. Newlyweds.”

  He studied my face for a long moment before he finally relented. “Fine. Let me shower and then I’m all yours, Mrs. Fullerton.”

  True to my word, I said nothing at all about Alex as we dressed, then drove up the coast for breakfast in Malibu. In fact, we said very little, now that certain topics were off the table. We headed to the Getty Villa to explore the antiquities on display amidst the grand Roman inspired country house tucked just off of the Pacific Coast Highway. There we bore witness to art that stretched all the way back to 6500 B.C., which rendered us both speechless as we spent the day amidst priceless treasures. The natural beauty in the sculpted gardens was just as breathtaking. “I can’t wait to bring Jonathan here,” I said as we strolled through the Outer Peristyle.

  He squeezed my hand with his. “He’s an old soul. He would definitely appreciate it.”

  I smiled. “It’s what I love most about him.”

  A similar smile tugged the corner of his mouth as well. “Me too,” he confessed softly. “With the babies coming, I’ve been thinking a lot about legacy. All Fullertons up until now have had only one: amass wealth and all the power that comes with it. My father was a scary man,” he admitted. “As was his father before him and likely his father before him. Every time I look in the mirror, I see each of them staring back at me. I see their demands and their expectations and their endless disapproval. Yet I’ve never seen their faces when I look at Jonathan, despite everything I’ve done to put them there.” He paused for a beat. “And I’m glad.”

  I curled around his strong arm. “Me too.”

  “He’s the best of us,” Drew said. “How he came from Elise and me is a mystery.”

  “You’re a good man, Drew,” I assured.

  He scoffed with a shake of his head. “I don’t think anyone touched by Malcolm Fullerton could be good. Good was another word for weak, and that got beaten out of us at a very young age, along with empathy and compassion. If you give to everyone with an outstretched hand, it isn’t long at all until you’re the one with the outstretched hand. It was always survival of the fittest.”

  I nearly bit my tongue in half as I did my level best to keep my promise and not talk about Alex. This would have been the perfect opportunity to point out that Alex had escaped this particular legacy due to Drew’s own compassion.

  Instead I just listened.

  “That’s a legacy I don’t want to pass down to our children, Rachel,” he continued softly. “If you ever wonder why I chose you, why I married you and why I am so fucking grateful every minute of every day that you are the mother of my children, it all comes back to legacy. You are the only one I’ve ever met who demonstrates goodness as strength.” He looked down at me. “You humble all of us.”

  A tear formed in the corner of my eye as I wound my arms around his neck.

  I was feeling pretty good about our day together until we pulled back up into the drive, where Alex’s work truck sat beside the fountain. Instantly the lines hardened in Drew’s face and his eyes narrowed as he looked at me. “Were you expecting company?” he asked in a low, controlled voice.

  I shook my head. “I had no idea, Drew. I swear.”

  He said nothing as he exited the car and headed into the house. He was pensive as he glanced into the living room, stalked past his study and made his way to the kitchen. I practically had to run to keep up. He stopped short just in front of the double doors leading toward the terrace. There on the plush wicker love seat sat Alex and Zoe. He had his arm along the back of the seat as Zoe strummed Jonathan’s guitar. He smiled proudly at her as she squealed in delight, obviously mastering a tune he was trying to teach her.

  Drew didn’t even look at me. “I’m going to ask you again, Rachel. Did you know he was coming over today?”

  I shook my head as I watched their interaction. It was like a knife in my gut every time he bestowed that sexy smirk to the blushing blonde. “I didn’t ask him and he didn’t tell me.”

  “So this is just more of Alex being Alex,” he grumbled. “He’s just playing with Zoe for the hell of it, just like Martina at the office.”

  “He wouldn’t do that,” I argued softly.

  Drew sneered down his nose at me. “You always want to see the best in him but I already told you. Good was beaten out of us at a young age.” He glanced back out onto the terrace, where we both saw Alex capture a lock of Zoe’s hair to push it out of her face. “Anything else is just an agenda, another form of warfare.”

  He spun on his heel and stalked back to his study, where – no doubt – he’d reach for yet another bottle of alcohol. I almost wished I could join him as I watched the scene unfold on the terrace. Alex Fullerton was a free agent, one who needed no permission to romance any girl he chose.

  But until now, he had never shown much interest in courting anyone other than me. I thought that made me special.

  Now I wondered if Drew was right. Maybe Alex always had an agenda.

  I slid the door open and stepped outside. Both Alex and Zoe were startled to see me approach, and he quickly dropped his arm from the back of the loveseat. “Alex, what a nice surprise, I wasn’t expecting you.”

  He shrugged as he stood. “I came over looking for Drew, but Zoe said you both had gone out for the day.”

  She was quick to jump to his defense. “I asked him to stay, Rachel. I thought maybe he could teach me a little guitar so I could maintain Jonathan’s studies while he was in Mexico.”

  My heart stopped as I stared at him. “Could you give us a moment alone, Zoe?”

  She nodded at once. “Of course.” She ducked her head and scurried away, possibly afraid of incurring my wrath once more.

  “You should be a little nicer to the help,” he murmured. “You were in her shoes not too long ago, remember?”

  “If you mean when I was the chew toy you both were fighting over, then yes. I remember well.”

  His jaw clenched but he didn’t rise to the bait. “I came over here because I’d like to ask if Max and Millicent can stay here while I’m down in Mexico. This business may take a while and I’d feel a lot better knowing they were with family, especially Max.”

  My blood ran cold. “So you’re really going through with it.”

  He shrugged. “They need me to properly set up De Villa Rojas since nobody knows horses like I do.”

  “That’s bullshit and you know it.”

  “Regardless, I’m going. Can they stay here or not?”

  “Of course they can,” I snapped. “If only to provide you incentive to come home.”

  His eyes scoured my face. “I already have that.”

  My breath caught as our eyes held. “Stay safe, Alex.”

  He spared me a crooked grin. “Don’t you worry about me. I’m titanium, baby.”

  A long moment stretched between us before I flung my arms around his neck. There were tears in my eyes as we broke apart. “I’m not saying goodbye,” I said. “It’s not goodbye.”

  He touched my face with his hand. “It’ll never be goodbye, Rachel. No matter what.” I watched as he walked back into the house. I couldn’t follow because I knew I’d burst into tears and beg him to stay.

  Instead I raced up the stairs to lock myself away in the privacy of my bedroom. I knew that Drew would not disturb me as long as the booze held out, which gave me time to worry, and mourn, in peace.

  For two years straight Alex had done nothing but warn me of the dangers in Mexico, and now he was willingly heading down there when conflict raged around the FEI holdings. Teton Tech had finally started to level out, but his quarter horse ranch was another matter entirely.

  “Quid pro quo,” Troy De Havilland had said. Pablo Rojas had finally made progress legitimizing our company so we would offer a courtesy to establish his family stables, a partnership of sorts since the Fullertons were established horsemen. On paper it seemed straightfo
rward enough, but every time I thought about any of it, a strong sense of foreboding tore at my gut.

  My eyes were still rimmed red when Drew made it upstairs later that evening, concerned that I had turned away dinner because I had been too stressed out to eat. Instead I drank water and juice, with enough trusty crackers to keep my stomach from lurching right out of my throat.

  He was equally in a state, but not for the same reason. “You need to eat,” he instructed as he brought a tray of food to the bed. “Our children don’t need to suffer just so you can pine over your lost love.”

  I couldn’t even look at him. I turned away and pulled the covers up to my shoulders, only to have them ripped away.

  “Did you hear what I said?” he thundered.

  My glare bore right through him as I sat up. “Maybe you can eat while your brother marches off towards a dangerous, volatile situation, but I can’t. Call it weak if you want, I don’t care.”

  “I don’t call it weak,” he replied as he grabbed the tray. “I call it stupid.” He placed the tray of food across my thighs. “He wants to show that he’s committed to FEI, and what better way than to use his own unique talents and strengths to do it?”

  I glared at him, saying nothing. He continued.

  “Tell me, Rachel. Are you really mad about Mexico? Or are you pissed you no longer have Alex wound tightly around your little finger?” He smirked humorlessly. “He’s not just romancing some blonde on the patio, you know. Funny how his aversion to Mexico quickly abated the minute there was a hot Latina goddess to join him on his travels. A beautiful woman that he himself hired, right after you broke his heart.” My eyes widened as I processed this new information. “That’s right. She was never pawn, darling. She was his.”

  I gulped hard. What was he implying? What did it mean?

  He had no problem at all telling me precisely what it meant. “They’ve gotten quite close. But I never realized how close until I saw the travel itinerary. One room,” he added in a lethal whisper. “Indefinite stay.”

  My stomach dropped, but I refused to let Drew see that. “I’m sure your good buddy, Troy, will be so happy to hear it.”

  Drew leaned down with both hands on either side of the tray. “He was.” I grit my teeth as he went on. “Unlike you and Alex, Troy knows what needs to be done. This is business, not some fucking movie of the week.”

  I cocked my head to one side. “Now who’s being stupid?”

  Rage boiled in those crystal blue eyes. “What did you say to me?”

  “You know how dangerous that situation surrounding Teton Tech is. This isn’t something we’re just conjuring up because we’re bored. People have died, Drew. Do you really want your brother to be one of them?”

  “There are two things wrong with your theory. One, Pablo Rojas has cleaned house in Teton Tech, virtually removing any violent, criminal element, making it safer than a dozen other foreign companies I own. Two, my brother is as slippery as a greased pig. Nothing grabs onto him because he’s gone at the first hint of trouble. You should know that,” he added. “Face it. Alex is good at playing the martyr, but he’s nothing more than a sniveling little weasel, scrounging around for scraps.”

  My hand flew across his face before I could stop it. With a growl he grabbed the tray and threw it all onto the floor with a resounding crash, before pinning me to the bed.

  “So this is where your loyalty lies?” he snarled. “You marry me, you fuck me, you take my money and live in my house. But just like that whore, Elise, you would still choose his side over mine.”

  “Let me go,” I hissed as I struggled under his weight.

  “Tell me I’m wrong!” he raged. “You are the grandest martyr of them all. Pretending to be good, pretending to be loving and faithful, the sweet little victim overrun by an abusive Fullerton. Tell me. Do you plan on stealing my children from me, too?”

  I shoved my hands against his chest. “If you want to act like your bastard of a father, I might just have to.”

  “Over my dead body,” he promised before he delivered a punishing kiss that reeked of expensive whiskey. “You are mine until death do us part,” he said as he tore at my gown.

  “Stop it!” I cried as I tried to get away from him. The day had finally taken its toll. I ached from my head to my feet, and felt like the entire contents of my stomach would empty right there on the bed. As I struggled to get away from him, a sharp pain whipped around my tummy and landed right in my groin. For a second I couldn’t breathe.

  Drew was way past hearing. He pawed at me as he tried to release himself from his pants. Only the red stain on my white gown got through his entitled, drunken, angry stupor. “Jesus Christ,” he breathed as he stumbled backward. “You’re bleeding.”

  I sobbed softly as I held onto my tummy. I couldn’t go through this again. Drew was scared sober as he vaulted off of the bed and reached for his phone. We were at the hospital within the hour, where I was admitted to labor and delivery to monitor any contractions.

  Fortunately there hadn’t been any more cramping since that first whopping pain in the bedroom, but I still shivered as I lay in bed, dressed only in a thin cotton hospital gown. My teeth chattered, whether from nerves or the IV or the chilly room, I couldn’t be sure. Drew paced nearby and nearly pounced on Dr. Rombach when she entered the room.

  “What’s going on? How is she? Are the babies okay?”

  She gave him a reassuring smile. “We won’t know everything until we run some tests, but you’re in the best possible place you can be, Mr. Fullerton.” She turned to me and read the readout from the cardiotocograph monitoring the contractions. “So far, so good. The babies’ heartbeats are strong and you haven’t had any more contractions since you were brought in.”

  “So it was a contraction?” Drew asked.

  “It’s not so uncommon to experience growth contractions around the twenty-second week. The bleeding is obviously more of a concern, since it indicates pre-term labor and we obviously want to keep those babies in the womb as long as we possibly can. We’ll run some tests and get to the root of the problem. In the meantime, try not to worry.”

  Her smile did little to reassure us as she exited the room. Tears poured from my face as I recited every prayer I could think of to spare my babies. Drew was likewise a wreck. He collapsed into a chair next to the bed. “I did this,” he mumbled. “This is all my fault.” His bloodshot eyes met mine. “I turned into my father. And I knew it and I couldn’t stop it. And now…,” he said, trailing off as he shuddered at what might result from his actions.

  “It’s the alcohol, Drew,” I said softly. “It turns you into someone I don’t even know anymore.”

  He nodded and a single tear coursed down his face. “Just like him.”

  “You are not your father,” I corrected. “Your father wouldn’t have stopped.”

  With a guttural moan he sank his head into his hands. “I’m sorry, Rachel,” he muttered. “I’m so sorry.”

  It hurt my heart to see his pain. “I forgive you,” I said. It was the only gift I had left to give.

  He scooted his chair closer and leaned across my body, his arm cradling my tummy as he sobbed against me. I smoothed his hair with one hand. “God, I don’t deserve you,” he said, his voice raw with emotion. “You’ve given my life meaning from the very day you walked into it. I always thought I was some master of the universe, but you raised the bar on my life. You push me and drive me to be a better father and a better man. I can’t imagine my life without you or our children, each and every one.” His voice broke as he looked up at me. “I would give my life to make you happy, to give you the life… and the love… you deserve. I love you, Rachel.”

  A sob strangled my throat as I reached for him, pulling him close to kiss away each tear and regret.

  Though I was only twenty-two weeks along, my cervix had already started to shorten, which put me at risk of pre-term labor. Dr. Rombach put me on modified bed rest at the house, with minimal walk
ing, standing, stair-climbing and no sexual activity. Drew swore he would do anything at all to keep me comfortable, and called Harrison from my bedside so that he could prepare one of the guest rooms on the ground floor for when I returned.

  “Speaking of guest rooms, why don’t we invite Millicent and Max to the house to stay with us while Alex is gone? She’s a nurse and she could help take care of me while you’re at work.”

  “Do you really need another child to chase after, Rachel?” he asked softly. It wasn’t snarky, like it might have been without our big scare. Instead he was truly concerned I was taking on too much. With my elevated blood pressure and dehydration, his concern was keeping me as healthy as possible.

  “Isn’t that why you hired Zoe? To tend to the kids when I was unable to?”

  He sighed. “If it will make you feel better,” he finally agreed.

  It would have made me feel better if Alex didn’t leave at all, but I wasn’t willing to resurrect that argument again. At the moment my focus was on my babies, and keeping them in the womb for as long as possible.

  This also meant more frequent ultrasounds and further testing, which began before I left the hospital. But even though they knew the sex of my children, I refused to let them tell me. Drew hadn’t been the only one scared straight by our medical emergency. I knew having my babies this early seriously limited their chance of survival. If I knew the gender, then I could plan for the birth. If I could plan for the birth, then I could dream about their future.

  And I knew I wasn’t ready to have those dreams once again torn asunder. God had already broken one promise to me. I knew I couldn’t bear another. It was much more than my fragile heart could bear.

  So I returned home Sunday morning, moving into the sunny yellow guest room on the ground floor. It was just down the hall from Drew’s office, and featured a view of the pool from the bay window where I could sit and read.

  This was the same day Max and Millicent moved into the suite upstairs near Jonathan’s room.

  We were all in place to wait for Alex to return from Mexico… and I could do nothing but hope and pray that he would.