Southern Rocker Showdown Read online

  “You’re a daddy, right?” he asked Don.

  Don nodded. “Yes. I have a little girl. You want to see her?” he asked. Cody’s head bobbed up and down, so Don played that week’s Fierce performance show. Jules had never shown them to Cody, because she thought it might make Lacy’s absence even harder on Cody. She’d worked long hours before, he’d understand why she was gone all the time. But to see her in the TV, unable to be with her or see her “for real” might be too much for him to process.

  Instead she watched them at night after he had gone to bed. It helped her ease the hole not having her daughter around every day had left in her.

  He cued up Sydney’s performance, which amazed Cody. He sat in front of the TV and watched the blonde girl sing like his Mama did. “Where is she?” he asked Don.

  “She’s on a TV show. She sings with your mama.”

  Cody’s eyes widened. “My mama’s TV show?”

  Don nodded and fast-forwarded to Lacy’s performance. Cody perched on his knees in front of the TV, hands on either side of Lacy on the screen. It was his Mama! And she was on TV!

  The camera cut to the rest of the contestants and Cody spotted Jonah. “It’s Jonah!” he squealed. He turned back to Jules. “Is that my Daddy?”

  Jules covered her mouth to stifle her cry, racing from the room.

  Don pulled Cody into his lap. “Hey, listen. Family is a funny thing. Some have a mommy and a daddy. Some have two mommies or two daddies. Some don’t have a mommy or a dad, or anyone at all. The thing to remember about family is that we have to cherish what we have, because we’re very lucky to have it, no matter what configuration it comes in. Family is what we’re meant to have to make us who we’re supposed to be, and we always get the right people to teach us what we need to know.” He referred to the TV. “My Sydney doesn’t have a Mommy, but look at her singing on national TV. I couldn’t be any prouder. I couldn’t want any more. You’re proud of your Mommy, right?” Cody nodded wildly. His mama was on TV. It was magic. “And you love her, right?” Another nod. “And you love your Nana, right?” Another wild nod. “You might get a daddy one day, Cody. And you might not. But you could not be loved more.” He held out his arms and Cody threw his little arms around his neck.

  Don carried Cody up to his room, where he helped him into his jammies and tucked him into bed. He read his favorite story to him, until Cody, overwhelmed by his day, nodded off before the first few pages were done. Don tucked the little boy in, putting a frog right next to him on the pillow, before he turned out the light and shut the door.

  He found Jules sprawled across her bed, sobbing into her pillow. They hadn’t really done anything more than kiss. He’d never even been in her bedroom. But that didn’t stop him from sitting next to her on the bed, a comforting hand on her back.

  “They’re going to take him away,” she wailed into the pillow.

  “They can’t,” he promised.

  “They can. They have money. They have clout.”

  “They have a good sales pitch,” he dismissed. “It only matters if someone is willing to buy.”

  She pulled herself into a sitting position. “You don’t understand.”

  “Then explain it to me.”

  “They’ll win because we lose.” He studied her face, brushing her hair back with the palm of her hand. “We’ve always lost. Everything that we ever had, we’ve lost. My mother. Lucas. My mom’s home.” She burst into fresh tears. “That’s what happens to people like us.”

  “People like you?”

  “The nobodies. The losers. Bottom-dwelling trash. I don’t even know who my own dad is. He split the moment he found out about me.”

  “Then Lucas left, and Cody’s dad split.” She nodded and he handed her a tissue. “Have you ever wondered about your dad, Jules?”

  “Of course,” she said before blowing her nose. “All my mother said was that he was a musician. I don’t even have a name. He just left. And he never came back.”

  “What would you say to him if he did?”

  She took a deep breath as she contemplated the question. “I’d ask him why. Why didn’t he think I was worth it?”

  Don nodded. “People do awful things, Jules. Sometimes there’s no other reason than they are doing the best thing for themselves at the time. His leaving has nothing to do with you. It has to do with him. It doesn’t make you trash. His behavior defines only him.”

  “Then why does it hurt?” she asked softly. “Forty-two years and it still fucking hurts.”

  He caressed her face. “Because you let it.” She dropped her eyes. “Tell the truth, Jules. Your life didn’t play out like it did because he thought you were worthless. It turned out that way because you thought you were you were.”

  It started a new round of tears and she hopped off the bed. He grabbed her hand and she glanced down at him. “And you are worth so much more.”

  He stood in front of her, pushing her dark hair over one shoulder. “You’ve spent decades carrying around someone else’s chains. That makes you strong, not weak. Not trash,” he said softly. He caressed the curve of her face. “I couldn’t fall in love with trash.”

  Her started eyes met his. What was he saying? With widened eyes, she watched his mouth start its descent towards hers. Her whole body caught fire when his warm mouth opened over hers. She melted into his arms, which made him hold her even tighter. He explored the recesses of her mouth with his tongue. It set every nerve ending aflame. Her arms slid around his waist as she submitted to his kiss, and he cupped her face with both hands as he dragged his mouth over hers.

  When the kiss finally broke, his eyes locked with hers as his hands drifted lower to release each button on her shirt. She couldn’t deny him. She was lost in those amazing blue eyes. She loved her reflection there. It was everything she had always wanted to be. She began to unbutton his shirt as well.

  They undressed each other slowly, as if unwrapping the biggest gift under the Christmas tree. He released the clasps on her bra, which fell away from her body and slipped to the floor. He looked down at her. Her breasts were full and swayed before him. He cupped one gently. “I can’t believe how beautiful you are.”

  She shook her head. She knew she wasn’t beautiful. Her breasts sagged. Her skin had wrinkled. She still wore stretch marks over her body, with cellulite on her thighs and varicose veins in her legs. She wasn’t tan. She wasn’t lean. She wasn’t perky. She was every single nightmare every cosmetic company sold a hundred products to correct or prevent. “I’m not beautiful,” she muttered.

  “No?” he asked. He ran his hand through her hair, which had been colored and styled by Clementine. There were red highlights and dark copper tones, to match her daughter. “Your hair is soft, like curling fine silk around my fingers.” He ran a fingertip along the curve of her face. “Your face is striking, with high cheekbones and full lips I dream about kissing. And those eyes,” he murmured. “Deep brown, with coppery flecks and a hint of green around the center. Like crown jewels.”

  He trailed his fingers down her neck. “The curves of your body are graceful, like a majestic swan,” he said, tracing her shoulder blades and making a line in between her breasts. “Your breasts,” he breathed. He cupped them in both hands. “Look how they fill my hands. Like they were supposed to.”

  She looked down as he molded her to his fingers. She was breathless as he knelt on his knees in front of her. He unzipped her jeans and eased the fabric over the swell of her hips. He ran his palm over the curve of her stomach. “Your soft skin begs to be touched. Your body is golden and vibrant, like a sunrise.” His fingertips trailed down over her hips. She shivered in spite of herself. He touched her thighs. “These strong legs,” he murmured. “They could lock around my waist and bury me inside of you, never letting me go.” He looked up at her. “You’re everything I never thought I’d find again, Jules.” His fingers slipped between her thighs. “And so much more.”

  Her head tipped back as his tongue b
lazed a trail of fire along her inner thigh. She opened her legs instinctively. He buried his face between them, making her gasp out loud when his tongue swept over her engorged clit. He lapped at it as his hands cupped her ass, keeping her steady. She was coming hard within minutes, soft cries strangled in her throat.

  He rose to his feet, closing the distance between them. She felt how hard he was through his pants. “Guess I’m not the only one who thinks you’re beautiful,” he smirked. She found herself smiling. Her eyes locked with his as she slid down to her knees to return the favor. He held her face in both hands as she wrapped her soft lips around his hardened shaft.

  But he wouldn’t let her suck him off. He had been waiting a long time to make love period, and much too long to make love to her. He pulled her up into his arms and carried her to the bed, practically mounting her as they collapsed together. He lifted her knees up in his hands as he sank into her. Both shuddered hard as they savored the moment. It was every bit as good as he had ever dreamed. He made love to her slowly. “My perfect, perfect Jules,” he said between kisses. “My dream come true.”

  “Oh, Don,” she breathed, clasping him tighter within her body. Her legs closed around his waist, making him moan deep in his throat.

  “Don’t ever let me go, baby,” he begged softly.

  “I won’t,” she promised as she curled around him like a cocoon. “I won’t.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Lacy took her place outside by the pool, with the Los Angeles skyline behind her. The director gave her the cue to start by asking, “So why haven’t we heard about your son until now, Lacy?”

  She cleared her throat. “I’m a single mom. I’ve been a single mom since the day he was born. I’ve worked plenty of jobs to take care of him, mostly bar gigs, wherever I could find work. I learned a long time ago to keep my job and my personal life separate. My son was never supposed to be a part of the Fierce journey. This is my job. And I’m so blessed to be able to do it. But he’s my child, and it’s my job to keep him safe. That’s why I work as hard as I do. I’m trying to provide a life for him that I didn’t have when I was growing up.”

  “What was life like for you?”

  “My dad left when I was fourteen. He was a singer too, and he wanted music more than he wanted family. It was up to my mom and me to make ends meet. Sometimes we did. Most times we didn’t. I wanted to be smarter about it, you know? I wanted to make my dream come true, but not at the cost of my kid. When this opportunity came up, I knew I could have used it to my advantage, and exploited my situation. But that’s not a legacy I wanted to leave to my son. I wanted to earn every dime twice so that later, when he’s older, he’d respect me. He’d know I gave it my best and won or lost on the basis of my talent and skill alone.”

  “Is it hard to live apart from him?”

  Her big brown eyes welled with tears. “It’s torture. I brought one of his stuffed animals, just so I could have something to cuddle. But it’s not the same. Every day and in every way I miss him.”

  “How do you cope with that?”

  She offered a sheepish grin, and Gwen gave her a thumb’s up from the sidelines. “I played hooky a couple of times. That first night after I did so poorly, I made a beeline right for my family, to lick my wounds a little bit. Cody slept with me that night, curled up in the crook of my arm. He asked me to sing to him because he always asks me to sing to him,” she said with a chuckle. Gwen knew it would endear her to the audience. “And when I did, I sang that song the way I should have sung it all along. It helped me get to the right place in my head.”

  “Are we going to get to meet Cody?”

  “Oh yes,” she said with a big smile. “The best thing that has come out of this is that Cody will now be coming to the live shows, so I won’t have to sneak away to see him anymore. He’s a part of my journey because he’s a part of me. And I’m never going to deny that again.”

  Gwen rushed to her after the filming stopped. “That’s perfect.”

  “Yeah, it still doesn’t ensure I’ll stay another week, though.”

  “I wouldn’t be too sure,” she said. “The audience wants to be there with you, every step of the way. You let them in, allow them to feel like they’re on this journey with you, and I think you’ll be surprised how much support you’re going to get.”

  “Thanks, Gwen,” Lacy said. She wouldn’t have known what to do without her. “And thank Graham for me again for letting me do an original song this week.”

  “Well, this is the week to do it,” she said. The theme for Week Nine was Precious Moments, where people shared their most intimate memories of music through song. She had considered a cover, but nothing would have rung true for her. She showed Graham one of the many songs she had written for Cody, just after he was born. It was her promise to protect him from all the mistakes she had made. He made the exception for her because he knew the song would fit her rebranding. The audience needed to feel exactly what she felt, and they could only do that through her song.

  She knew it meant the show would have to scramble to make every single performance as emotionally poignant, but thanks to all the rumors and speculation and revelations, it could use a bit of rebranding itself. Graham wanted to remind the world that their show wasn’t another reality TV show trying to stoke the ratings through drama. He wanted everyone in America to fall in love with everyone on Fierce.

  It certainly made that week their busiest thus far. There were only twelve left, so they had begun recording their songs to sell online. Whether they were at the studio on the back lot or at the studio in the house, everyone was rehearsing when they weren’t recording media packages to introduce their own Precious Moments and whatever special guest they had invited for the show.

  They also had to prepare press kits for the tour. They were doing photo shoots and videos. They were up by seven o’clock every morning and dropped into bed somewhere around midnight.

  Lacy didn’t get a whole lot of time to spend with Jonah, whose Precious Moments performance featured his beloved sister, Leah. Of all his performances, this one had to be perfect. But he texted her frequently to show her he was thinking about her and he was there for her if she needed him. She had told him that Gay showed up at the townhome, trying to muscle her way in to see Cody.

  It only made him hate the Hollises even more.

  Every time he passed Tony Paul at the house or at the studio, he wanted to smash his arrogant face in. All it would take would be one word. One word and Jonah would unleash holy hell on him. He fantasized about it. He hoped for it. He dreamed about it. He was ready to stomp his dick in the dirt for hurting Lacy, both then and now. What a waste of fucking skin.

  Fortunately his song for Leah kept him somewhat grounded. It was impossible to remain homicidal when singing a Wizard of Oz tune.

  She had also come to the mansion, driven there like a little star herself, to record her interview with her brother in the back lawn. She was dazzled by all of it. It forced him to stop and remember where he was and what he was doing. This was a big deal. It was a great blessing. And his sister, whose life had been so full of suffering and bad news, was able to be a part of it all.

  Shiloh gave her a big smile when they met. He asked her if she sang and she giggled and shook her head. “Are you sure?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. He took her by the hand and led her to the studio, where he sat her atop a stool. “What’s your favorite song right now?” She gave him a peppy pop tune and Jonah had to hide his smile when he saw how hard Shiloh was trying not to roll his eyes clean out of his head. “I have so much work to do,” he said with a shake of his head. He affixed the earphones on her head before he cued up his guitar to play the tune, which he mimicked surprisingly well.

  At least until the vocals started, and he ground them out in a death metal growl that made Leah laugh out loud.

  “Come on. You do it.”

  He didn’t give up until she was growling into the mic the same as him. Jon
ah laughed as he watched on from the other side of the glass.

  “Hey, cowboy.”

  He turned around to see Jacinda Hollis standing right behind him. She was as striking as ever, but he offered no welcome. He turned back to watch his sister. “What are you doing here?”

  “Precious moments,” she said as she stood beside him. “Tony Paul’s my big brother. I’m his baby sister. You should understand that dynamic.” He said nothing. “It’s complicated, isn’t it? So many years between the oldest child and the youngest child. All she wants is your approval. Your attention. Your love. It’s a real bitch when you don’t get it.”

  His eyes shifted to hers. The pain in her voice was palpable.

  “Everybody wanted Tony Paul’s attention. I waited in line for years. First I had to wait until I was old enough to have anything interesting to say. That happened around my seventeenth birthday,” she added with a chuckle. “I thought maybe if we shared the same passion, he’d treat me like he used to when I was little, when he’d carry me around and show me off to all his friends.” A tear slipped down her cheek, but he was pretty sure she hadn’t noticed. “Unfortunately I wasn’t born with the family gift. I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, as they say. But when Mama asked me to sing backup for the band, I thought maybe… just maybe.”

  “He’d give you that attention.”

  She nodded. “By the time he was sixteen, he was dating any girl he could persuade, which was all of them. I ceased being his favorite girl a long time ago.”

  “You’re here now,” he pointed out.

  Her eyes met his. “Because there is no one else.”

  He turned to face her. “So that’s why you hate Lacy? Because she came along and stole your thunder, right when you were getting everything you wanted?”