The Complete Groupie Trilogy Read online

  It wasn’t that much different from what I got, when you think about it.

  Graham finally approached me as the prom wound down. I had spent a good deal of time on the sidelines, and he finally took pity on me and asked me to dance. I thought briefly about turning him down but I couldn’t stand to see the wounded look in his eyes from yet another rejection.

  It wasn’t his fault I was an idiot.

  This time he was far gentler when he pulled me to him, reminding me of how he had always been, and how Vanni had tried to be the night before. The confusion must have marched across my face because he was quick to pounce on it. “Are you happy, Andy?”

  “Of course,” I said automatically.

  “And will you be happy in three days, when you’re alone? Because you know he won’t be.”

  I sighed. “Graham…”

  “I love you, Andy,” he said softly, earnestly. “I think I have since Vegas. You hit me like a thunderbolt and I’m ready to offer you everything. I can give you all of me. Can he do that?”

  “No,” I answered honestly. “But I love him.”

  He shook his head. “You need him. He’s like a drug to you. But deep down even you know he isn’t the one. You long for something he simply can’t give you, and you know eventually one day you’ll need more. When that day comes, I’ll be waiting.”

  With that he reached down and kissed me. I was much too surprised to stop him.

  When he lifted his head I saw Vanni staring at us from across the room. He looked as stunned as I felt, but there was something more. Something wounded. Something angry.

  He turned and stalked from the dance floor, and I wrenched away from Graham to chase after him.

  I kicked off my heels to run in bare feet all the way back to my cabin, where Vanni was throwing his belongings back into his suitcase.

  “Vanni,” I started and he twirled around to face me.

  “You lied to me,” he said. “You both lied to me.”

  I shook my head. “I never lied to you, I swear.”

  “Then what was that?” he wanted to know. “You kissed him right there in front of me.”

  “He kissed me,” I offered weakly.

  “You didn’t stop him,” he hissed as he turned back to his suitcase.

  It dawned on me that his indignation was rather ironic, given that he actually had a girlfriend waiting for him at home. I stomped over to where he stood and grabbed his arm. “What difference does it make?” I demanded, suddenly as angry as he was. “Whose bed will you be sleeping in tomorrow?”

  “Is that what this is about? Were you jealous I was dancing with those other girls?”

  “If it’s not them it’ll just be someone else. I’ll never be enough for you.”

  His face hardened. “Ditto.”

  “Vanni…” I started but he interrupted me by grabbing my wrist and spinning me into his arms. His mouth crashed down on mine and he forced my lips apart with his tongue. He lifted me up like a rag doll and threw me on the bed, shoving his suitcase and all its contents off onto the floor as he climbed onto the bed to lean over me.

  “You want to know what I need?” he growled as he pulled my wrists above my head with one large hand. I couldn’t say anything as I watched his mouth descend onto mine.

  He kissed me so hard that it opened up the wound on my lip, and his free hand tore at the fabric of my semi-formal “prom” dress until it was up around my waist. His knee parted my legs as he fit his body close to mine.

  I was powerless to stop him even if I had wanted to, but the fact was Graham was right. I did need Vanni. More important than that I needed him to need me back. I whispered his name and felt his body shudder against me.

  “Say it again,” he demanded, and of course I complied. He tore at his own clothes until he released himself against me. “Tell me who you belong to,” he growled in my ear as he rubbed himself against me, driving me crazy with my own desire.

  “You,” I breathed as I opened myself up for him.

  “Who do you love?” he wanted to know as he entered me, and I was nearly in tears from the exquisite pleasure of his body fitting perfectly into mine.

  “You,” I said, louder this time. “Vanni…”

  He rode me hard as he kept repeating, “You’re mine, say you’re mine…say you’ll only be mine,” into my ear. By the time we both came he was incoherent with his own need and I knew I alone had driven him to that place.

  This was what made him mine, no matter who he had on his arm.

  And for now… that would have to be enough.

  Because that’s all that I had.

  Las Vegas, March 2010

  Talia

  I bought the gun today.

  If I can’t have him, no one can – especially some fat whore unfit to tie my shoes. She’s always been jealous that Giovanni loved me, and somehow she found a way to bewitch him into believing it was all fake… that I was sick… that he had to protect himself from me.

  Because of her I am not pregnant like destiny had planned. She took away my only hope to make the baby Giovanni and I both dreamed about and knew we were supposed to make. He didn’t remember all our nights we’d come together on a spiritual plane to make love and to plan with our minds and our souls. We just needed the perfect opportunity to make it real, which is what the cruise meant to me. To us.

  With Ben dead and Kat gone, we had the perfect opportunity to be together. Somehow she knew. Somehow she had figured it out. And she ruined it. She ruined it all.

  She thinks she’s won because he removed me from the ship, but I’m not going anywhere.

  One day… when she least expects it… I’ll take away everything.

  Enjoy it while it lasts, Andy Foster.

  One day… one day soon…you will pay.

  ~Andy~

  As expected, things resumed to the way they were prior to the cruise almost from the minute we disembarked. Vanni went home to Kat, Graham went back to Los Angeles, and I went back to my lonely two bedroom house in Nashville.

  We didn’t even talk about how things would change now that Vanni and I had resumed our love affair, because there was really nothing to say.

  I was “the other woman” from the time we made love in my cabin. As such there were unspoken rules that I would not pressure him to make a decision to end it with his girlfriend, who needed him to get her through her recovery period, which included painful physical therapy.

  There was no way he could just dump her, nor would I ask him to.

  Instead we enjoyed the bubble through emails and texts, and the occasional stolen phone call when she was out of earshot.

  It was very similar to when the affair first caught fire in 2008. He pursued me, which kept me securely on the line. He even flirted openly with me on online social networks where everyone could see. It wasn’t anything overt or disrespectful to Kat, but it definitely made it clear I was more than just a fan. He would often respond to me when he wouldn’t respond to anyone else, clearly establishing a hierarchy of very important persons.

  Kat made it clear in the few times I had talked to her that she understood he was establishing a spot for me in his inner circle because of how I had helped protect him from Talia. She apologized for not having been there so that I didn’t have to be assaulted, which made me feel like a shit momentarily given how easily I had stepped into her bed once she left.

  But I got the sense she was insincere about her noble claim when she’d have nothing to do with all the legal wrangling it took afterwards to put a restraining order into place against Talia. This was clearly a part of fame she didn’t want, and I could tell she was developing her own escape plan whenever I saw the two of them together on a couple of my trips to Los Angeles to appear before the judge.

  Their relationship was crumbling to the point she even withdrew from the show despite the fact she had recovered enough to go back on tour. Not so coincidentally he began making indirect comments about the future, about things we
might be able to do if I lived in Los Angeles, and whether or not Simon would like living at the beach.

  I tried not to get too excited about these random comments, but it felt as though the door was opening for me at long last. So when he asked me to be his guest in Philadelphia, to be there when he was awarded the key to the city during their tour stop there, there was no way I would have said no.

  The only wrinkle in our romantic plans was that Graham had also booked the trip to Philly. As the president and CEO of Vanni’s record label, he was going to be there in honor of Philadelphia acknowledging one of its favorite sons.

  That was the reason he gave, anyway. Personally I felt it smacked of bullshit considering how he behaved on the cruise. More likely he was there to remind me of the choices I still had, and throw my heart further into turmoil.

  His emails and phone calls, and even the times I had seen him in court in Los Angeles, all had been cordial. He didn’t pressure me; he didn’t demand answers or try to get explanations why I had chosen Vanni over him.

  It was just a simple reminder that he was there, and he cared about me, and that I could depend on him.

  Frankly it made me feel worse. I wasn’t especially looking forward to seeing him at the event in Philly.

  But the minute I walked into Vanni’s arms when he opened up the door to his hotel room, everything else ceased to matter. We didn’t even talk for the first hour because we were so busy kissing, touching, tasting and loving.

  Like the constant crashing waves of a waterfall we came together again and again, like we were making up for the past few months apart. This was the rare gift of our relationship. We got the opportunity to fall in love all over again each time we rediscovered each other. It felt familiar but yet fresh and new. It was anticipation and excitement and fulfillment and we took complete advantage of it. We didn’t even bother with clothes that first night in the hotel, and I was so grateful we had both decided to come a day early to have one day uninterrupted by the world.

  The next morning when I woke up I saw Vanni leaning over me, propped up on one elbow, staring down into my face. I gave an embarrassed chuckle. “What? Was I drooling?”

  He had a smile on his face as he shook his head. “You look beautiful,” he assured. “My low-maintenance Andy.” He brushed his fingers across my forehead to push my hair from my face. “You’re not fake. You’re not plastic. You’re not afraid to be you. I’ve always loved that about you.”

  I blushed and looked away. I wasn’t used to such compliments, especially from him.

  His hand slipped down across my shoulder and over my bare body to rest on the generous swell of my hip. “You’re real,” he whispered softly. “You anchor my life.” My eyes met his. “I got you something,” he said as he scooted off the bed and walked naked over to his suitcase.

  I propped up on my own elbow, thinking there was nothing he could give me that meant more than our time together. But when he handed me a small jewelry box my protests died in my throat.

  I sat up and opened the box with shaking hands. Inside was a white gold charm bracelet. He pointed to each one. “Philadelphia, where we first met,” he said as he pointed to a jewel studded “P” charm. “New York,” he said as he pointed to the “I Heart New York” charm, “for our first kiss.” He pointed to the next one. “Las Vegas, where we first made love,” he said softly as his eyes met mine. “Nashville,” he continued, “where I first new I loved you.”

  There were charms for each place we had been together, that I could wear all the time and remember our crazy, passionate, confusing, fulfilling love affair. There were tears in my eyes when he fastened it around my wrist, and when I pulled him down to me there was no question in my mind I had found the true love of my life in Vanni.

  We had breakfast in bed, and he fed me fresh fruit. I felt like a bride on her honeymoon, even when he wouldn’t let me get dressed for our big event downtown. He chased me across the hotel room until we’d collapse giggling onto the bed.

  It was shaping up to be the happiest day of my life.

  I couldn’t even muster that much guilt when we met up with Graham prior to the event. He could see the happiness all over my face, which seemed to soften him somehow. Though he didn’t say it, I got the feeling that he cared enough about me to want me to be happy no matter what decisions I made, or the person I chose.

  He was a good man. And deep down, it made me love him a little more.

  But I was no longer confused. Though we hadn’t talked about it expressly, I got the feeling that Vanni was rearranging his life so that I could fit into it. He indicated to me that he had been looking for another place to live because he wanted to move out of Kat’s house and move on from that relationship.

  The fact that I was there on the podium, in between Graham and Vanni, wearing the special piece of jewelry he had purchased to honor our long, crazy journey together, felt I was finally in position to take the place I had dreamed about for so long.

  No matter what he asked me, to travel with him, to move in with him… to marry him… I’d have said yes without reservation. And Philadelphia was the perfect place for me to tell him I was ready.

  The mayor stood first and told the crowd how proud they were of a local boy who had been born to modest circumstances, but was making such a success of himself. As such, Giovanni provided inspiration to all young people from Philadelphia, showing them they too could “make it happen.”

  Vanni stood and received his honors to the roar of the massive crowd who had come to see the event. Vanni thanked the mayor and Philadelphia, saying his roots were strong because of this fine city and all it taught him about strength and courage.

  He turned to where Graham and I sat and motioned for us to stand.

  “I didn’t do this alone,” he continued. “Graham Baxter, you took a chance on me when things were a complicated mess, and thanks to your guidance and your support Dreaming in Blue is poised to be more successful than ever before. And I know that is because of the faith you put in us to be the best we can be.”

  Then he turned to me. “But there is one person who has been the most instrumental in making me the man I am. And I think it’s time you all finally got to meet her.”

  He held out his hand, and even though I shook down to my toes I walked towards him.

  Then, as if in slow motion, something in the crowd caught my eye. The throng of people parted as someone wearing a scarf on her head and large, dark glasses pushed through toward the front of the stage where we stood.

  The din of the crowd scrambled in my ear to a low hum when I first laid eyes on the gun pointed in my direction. I think I opened my mouth to scream but all was lost in the explosive blast of gunfire. I felt a force hit me from the side and push me to the ground, where I fell somewhere behind the podium where everyone else dove to avoid the hail of bullets.

  I felt the warm gush of liquid pour over me and I wondered briefly if I had been shot. I glanced up and that was when I saw him slumped over me.

  “Graham!” I screamed as I reached for him.

  “Andy, don’t!” I heard someone scream from behind, and I was fairly certain it was Vanni. Everyone cowered from the bullets that continued to spray whether from the assailant’s gun or from the police who descended immediately upon the scene. But all I could think about was Graham as I pushed him onto his back to survey the damage.

  “Andy,” he whispered as he reached a hand to my face. I sobbed openly as my hand hovered over the nasty wound in his stomach, pumping blood onto the concrete.

  “Shh,” I said as I propped his neck under my arm. “Don’t say anything. Save your strength.”

  “I love you,” he said in stunted speech as his eyelids fluttered, as if he needed to say it just one more time – in case it was his last.

  He couldn’t die. That was insanity. Just two seconds ago we were all smiling and happy – and here he was uttering what could be his final words?

  And they were to me.


  “I love you too,” I said through my tears. “Graham… don’t leave me…”

  I felt someone pull at me and I turned to see a panicked Vanni as he tried to get me away from the scene. “Andy, come on!”

  “NO!” I screamed. I wasn’t going to leave Graham. He had lunged in front of me and taken the bullet that was meant for me. There was no way I’d let him bleed to death and die alone. I wasn’t about to let him die, period. “Graham, stay with me,” I said as I pressed my hand against his wound. I didn’t know if it would help but I wanted to stop the bleeding.

  The wail of the sirens grew nearer. Salvation was just minutes away. “Graham, please. Don’t close your eyes. Stay with me. Graham!” I screamed and his eyes fluttered closed. “I love you! Stay with me!”

  I felt Vanni’s strong arms circle my waist as he tried to pull me away from an unconscious Graham. I fought and kicked but he was too strong and picked me up effortlessly and dragged me away.

  With another loud shot and a blood curdling scream, it was all over.

  I slumped into Vanni’s arms and slipped away into darkness.

  Philadelphia – June 17, 2010

  The nurse came in to check my vitals. She gave me a reassuring smile, but would not answer any questions I had about Vanni or Graham. She patted me on the arm and said she’d get the doctor, and told me to try and rest.

  I was half tempted to rip the IV out of my arm and take off the other wires that were hooked up to the machines, but truthfully I could barely move. When Graham had fallen on me it had felt like a brick wall came down. I already knew I had been injured in some way, although I knew by now none of that was from a gunshot wound.

  But it didn’t matter, I thought as tears welled up in my eyes. I might as well have been shot with how hollow I felt inside. Graham Baxter was perhaps the kindest man I had ever known, who had always looked out for my best interest to the point he was willing to step in front of a bullet for me.