Enraptured Read online

  I touched the screen. I wanted to offer that we could do it again once I got back, but there was no way I could make a promise like that anymore.

  “There’s someone who wants to say hi,” Jonathan said before he disappeared off screen. I held my breath, thinking Alex’s handsome, rugged face would fill the frame. But it was Millicent, whose smile was warm, though her eyes were troubled.

  “Rachel,” she greeted. “I suppose congratulations are in order.”

  I nodded, embarrassed to face her. She was one of the few people who knew what kind of relationship I had developed with Alex, and I knew that her allegiance certainly fell to her former son-in-law. “I sure miss you, though,” I said. “Are you back for good, or will you be going back to France?”

  It was my safe way to ask if Alex would once again flee overseas. She smiled as she put her arm around Max. “The boss here wouldn’t have it. California is his home. And we always find our way home, don’t we?”

  I nodded. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Drew watching me closely, no doubt testing my loyalty once more by how I interacted with Alex’s branch of the family tree. All that was missing was if Alex showed up himself, yet another test for all of us.

  But Alex never made it on camera, which from what I could gather meant he wasn’t at home at all. I knew better than to inquire, so I allowed Jonathan to dominate the conversation like usual. He told me about their night camping out, and the new horses that Alex had brought back from England. All was right in his world, especially now that his mother was clear across the country.

  “I can’t wait until you guys come home,” he grinned happily. “I’ve got a big surprise.”

  “You’re surprise enough,” I said.

  “Thanks, Mom,” he replied before he could catch himself. He spotted my look of surprise immediately. “It is okay that I call you Mom now, isn’t it?”

  “More than okay,” Drew answered for me as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “We’re a family now, after all.”

  “Just remember I’m adding to the family, not taking anything away,” I cautioned gently. “I’m not here to take your mother’s place, Jonathan.”

  He nodded. “I understand,” he said. “I love you. Mom,” he added, to test out my new title. My heart melted as I stared into those bright blue eyes.

  “I love you, too,” I said, fighting back the tears that no longer seemed to keep themselves in check, thanks to my raging pregnancy hormones.

  I remained quiet after we signed off. Drew took me by the hand and led me toward the living room, to enjoy the panoramic view. I sat while he fetched a midday snack from the kitchen, and I stared almost blindly at the endless blue sea until he returned, carrying a tray for our afternoon tea.

  There were delicate cucumber sandwiches and freshly baked pastries with a side of lemon curd and cream. He poured my cup of tea while I cautiously nibbled on one of the fruit-filled scones. “He looked good, didn’t he?” Drew asked with a sideways grin.

  I nodded. “Time at the ranch was always good for him. He loves Max. I think it was his influence that helped turn Jonathan around last year. Because Max looked up to him and depended on him, it encouraged him to make better choices.”

  “He’s always loved other children,” Drew commented before he took a bite out of one of the sandwiches. “I wanted to have other children right away, but there was no way Elise would agree to another pregnancy, especially after she got lost all the extra weight.”

  The scone felt like mushy cardboard in my mouth. Sloane’s comment about “breeders” rang in my ears as I thought about the ex-Mrs. Fullerton. She had a more exciting agenda, apparently, than filling their large mansion with a horde of children.

  That, it would seem, fell to more wholesome “matronly” figures. Like me.

  I finally choked down my snack. “I suppose it was a blessing in disguise,” I muttered, thinking of how wounded Jonathan had been when I met him, so obviously damaged by the ugly divorce and messy custody battle.

  “Indeed,” Drew agreed immediately. “And now he will have a little brother or sister of his very own, from a mother committed to the emotional wellbeing of all her children.” He toasted me with his cup of tea.

  “His wellbeing includes Max,” I said softly. His jaw clenched and he looked away. “It is what he wants most in the world, Drew. Jonathan really thrives when he has his entire family around him. No matter what you think about them, that includes Alex and his son.”

  Drew leaned back against the sofa. The setting sun outside our window cast shadows against his strong, uncompromising face. “What are you asking, Rachel?”

  “Your war doesn’t have to touch them,” I told him. “Don’t stand in the way of Jonathan bonding with his cousin. They’re better together. Take it from me.”

  “And with his doting uncle, too, I imagine.”

  I dared to invoke his name. “Alex really does love him. Through it all. Through everything.”

  His face hardened. “That’s a lot to ask,” he murmured as he considered my request. “What are you willing to offer in return?”

  Always an angle, I thought with a sigh. “Drew,” I began, but he was quick to cut me off.

  “If I bring Max, and by default, Alex, back into the fold, then I will need to know – without any doubt – where your loyalty lies.” He took my hand in his, and his forefinger brushed my inner palm with salacious intent.

  I stared at him, aghast. “You’d really leverage our intimacy like this, Drew? Is that how important it is for you to win?”

  “Yes,” he answered without apology. He placed the china teacup onto the saucer before he leaned me back against the corner of the sofa. “Jonathan isn’t the only one who has wanted a family, Rachel. It is all I have ever wanted as well. It has driven each and every decision I have made since childhood.”

  “I know that,” I told him softly.

  “And you also know how every single one of those decisions was circumvented by those with a ‘take-it-or-leave-it’ attitude in regards to family. Elise, Olivia, even your precious Alex. No one else was willing to sacrifice their own selfish needs to help me fortify this family into what it could be. That all changed with you, Rachel. You’re the only one who has the emotional strength and integrity to do what needs to be done to strengthen the family unit as a whole. It is why you married me, is it not?” I didn’t answer, but I didn’t really have to. “So I am willing to consider your request. But you need to be prepared to consider mine. The connection between husband and wife is, after all, the foundation of the family unit.”

  As usual, he wasn’t fighting fair. “You are never going to stop trying to manipulate me, are you, Drew?”

  He pulled my hand into his lap, ultimately drawing me closer. “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be my wife and my queen. Look around you, Rachel. I’m ready to move heaven and earth to make you happy.” He bent closer until his mouth hovered over mine. “Seems to me the only one playing games here is you. You wear my ring, you took my name… yet you withhold your affection to keep control over me, an infernal carrot on a stick to make me beg like a dog. It is an endless, fruitless quest to win your favor and make up for my multitude of sins. Who, really, is manipulating whom?”

  His kiss hung there for a long, painful moment, as if he dared me to cross those final inches which separated us. “I’m not going to have sex with you to barter those things you should have been doing all along, Drew.”

  “No,” he agreed softly. “You’re going to make love to me because you’re my bride. That is the choice you made willingly and of your own accord. What better time to seal our vows than before we leave here on Monday? This honeymoon can be the true cradle of our love, rather than some hasty one-night-stand because you were lonely and drunk.”

  I grimaced at the brutal honesty of his description. He forged on. “You will do it because it’s your vow, Rachel. Your promise.” His eyes pierced mine as he delivered a blow below the belt. “And is
n’t that what separates you from us manipulative, entitled Fullertons? You are the one who never breaks your promises.”

  He rose from the sofa without planting that devastating kiss on my mouth. I watched him leave the room before I slouched against the cushions. He had now tipped the hourglass over, explaining in no uncertain terms what he expected from me and when. Worse, I was bound by my promise, and my unwavering commitment to giving Jonathan the happily ever after he deserved, to submit… to comply… to obey.

  By the time we left our island paradise, I would be Drew’s wife in every sense of the word.

  Chapter Four

  Though he had made it clear he expected us to consummate our marriage prior to leaving the island, Drew’s behavior didn’t change much over the next few days. He was attentive without being pushy, apparently committed to the idea that I would be the one to take the next step in our relationship. He didn’t bring up his peculiar blackmail again, possibly because he knew that I couldn’t stop thinking about it anyway.

  Instead we would board Paradise Lost and sail to nearby islands, experiencing local culture and a more populated night life, complete with dinner and dancing. His arms would close around me possessively as he swung me in slow circles under a brilliant cascade of stars. He would hold me close, his breath against my face, as his hands molded me to his body, reminding me of that familiar terrain I had once explored with such sensual abandon. He planted kisses that lingered longer and longer, and every time he pulled away I saw the question in his eyes.

  Truthfully it was more of a dare. We were playing a very lascivious game of chicken, to see who would buckle first.

  Yet every night he would lay me onto the bed, brand me with his kiss and then leave me with my thoughts as he escaped to his office to work… and to drink.

  And every time my mind would warp from these confusing mixed messages, I would remind myself that this was the program for which I signed up. I was the one who put the engagement ring back on my finger, knowing that was the best for my unborn child and for Jonathan.

  I did so knowing full well that my heart belonged to another. And, by most rules of morality and decency, that meant my body as well.

  Yet none of this sanctimony had stopped me from sleeping with Drew on Thanksgiving, when I was seriously considering a life with Alex. Even if I never slept with Drew again, it wouldn’t change anything.

  Was Drew right? Was I the one playing games?

  And what was I holding out for? There was no way I could go back to Alex now. I had royally screwed everything up, and it was all completely and totally my fault. Was I really going to spend the next eight months and beyond, further punishing Max and Jonathan… and even Drew and Alex?

  I couldn’t give Alex the love he wanted from me, but maybe… if I could find a way to soften Drew’s rough edges, I could return his hero to him after all these years apart.

  Maybe if I taught Drew more about compromise, we could explore that unfamiliar gray area between him and his estranged brother. Then, maybe, I really could reunite this troubled, broken family at last.

  As each day passed, I realized it might be the only way to make up for my betrayal.

  Saturday morning I awoke to the sound of him splashing around in the water mere yards away from where I slept. After a few crackers to steady my stomach, I joined him on the beach for a little sun. He grinned at me from the surf as I curled up in a hammock with a book.

  “The water is fabulous,” he said. “You should join me.”

  Though I had made considerable strides tackling my water phobia in California, the thought of jumping into the ocean was far more daunting. I made slight face as I shook my head. “I don’t have my suit.”

  He rose out of the crystal clear water, his ripped, naked body glistening under the morning sun. “Private beach,” he stated unnecessarily as he walked over to the hammock. “No need for modesty.”

  I stared up at him as he reached me, towering over me with those same demanding blue eyes that had entrapped me from the beginning. “Drew, please. I’m not ready.”

  “You say that a lot,” he commented as he pulled me from the hammock. “But you’re more ready than you might think.”

  “Drew…”

  “Trust me,” he said quietly. “Trust me like you trusted him.”

  Before I could protest, he took the spaghetti strap of my top and slid it down my arm. I shivered in spite of myself. He repeated the action with the other strap. His fingers trailed my bare shoulder. “So lovely,” he said so softly it was like a cool breeze against my skin.

  I looked up into his eyes. I knew this was my moment of truth. My hands shook as I pulled the tank top over my head. I tossed it onto the hammock. He hadn’t moved an inch. He simply watched and waited. I reached behind me to unhook my bra, and quickly discarded it as well.

  His jaw clenched as he watched me wiggle out of my shorts and my underwear. I finally stood before him, as bare as he was, as naked as I had ever felt in my life. His fingers curled around my neck as he brought me closer for a kiss. He groaned deep in his throat as I submitted immediately, and his other hand slipped behind my shoulder, down the slope of my back and the swell of my hip.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted me easily into his arms. The closer we got to the water’s edge, the stronger the tremor in my body. Just the sound of the waves rendered me paralyzed in his embrace. Drew strode purposefully through the shallow water. He didn’t stop until he was waist deep in the clear turquoise sea. My teeth clattered as I shook against him. I wasn’t sure what was more terrifying… the ocean before us, or the man who held me powerfully in his arms.

  He eased me onto my feet. The water was cold enough to take my breath away, and Drew was quick to wrap me in his embrace. “Look at me,” he commanded quietly.

  My eyes met his as he led us out another few feet. I could feel the ocean lift me and panic started to rise.

  “Don’t fight it, Rachel,” he said in that same strong, low voice. “Submit. And trust.”

  I was having trouble with both commands the further we got from the shore. I fought off a panic attack as the sand disappeared beneath my feet. He kept us both afloat, his eyes locked on my face. As he pulled me down to dunk us both underwater, I resisted immediately. “I’m scared,” I squeaked.

  “I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he said. “Believe in me, Rachel.” Gently he pulled me below the water’s surface. Unlike Alex, he didn’t immediately release me again. He kept us underwater until I was forced to look at him. His eyes were almost as clear as the sea in which we were submerged.

  As we broke the surface, his mouth landed hard on mine, clutching me to his hard silhouette while one hand tangled into my wet hair.

  It was all too much. The swell of the ocean made me queasy as I fought off several panic attacks at once. I was terrified of the water, of Drew, of the life ahead of me, and the crooked road behind me that led me to it.

  He miraculously took mercy on me, as if he could tell how overwhelmed I was. He swam us back to the shore, and laid me right along the edge of the water to catch my breath. He lifted up on his elbow to look down at my face. “You okay?”

  I nodded but my teeth chattered. I watched as his eyes traveled along the peaks and valleys of my wet body. His palm spread out against my stomach. He bent to deliver a kiss there so gentle I barely felt it.

  “It’s amazing,” he said softly, almost to himself. “Within you grows new life, just beginning,” he added with an absent smile. “It is a clean slate. A new chance.” He caressed my stomach with a gentle touch. “I won’t make the same mistakes. That is my promise to you, Rachel.”

  It was a moment of unexpected intimacy and vulnerability. In that moment, I saw the Drew he could be – the Drew I had long ago learned to love. I touched his wet hair with my hand. “Ditto.”

  His eyes met mine. I pulled him down for a tender kiss. There were no demands as our lips met and our mouths merged. We lay on
the edge of the surf together, taking the time to acclimate ourselves to each other again. His fingers were feather-light as they danced across my body, but he did not push or coerce. He merely touched me and I allowed myself to be touched. As foreplay went, it was very chaste. Drew allowed me to set the tone and he limited himself to those narrow perimeters, even as I felt him stiffen and grow against me.

  When I finally slipped a hand between us and grasped him in my gentle grip, he shuddered against me. His hand covered my breast and I gasped as his lips traveled down my body to join it. His warm tongue surrounded the pert nipple gently as he sucked me into his mouth. As if he knew how tender my breasts now were, he applied no pressure, just tiny quick circles until I arched my back towards him.

  He rose easily to his feet and swept me up into his arms. “A clean slate,” he promised again as he carried me toward our suite. “Our new life.”

  He carried me all the way to our large, walk-in shower. Several jets overhead spat out warm water to wash the sand and grit from our bodies. His hands were gentle but firm as he bathed me, loving attending to every detail of my body. I followed suit, lost in his eyes as I liberally explored the hard ridges and contours of his athletic build. He turned off the faucet behind me before pulling me from the stall. He wiped me down with a lush towel and I mirrored his action.

  Finally he took me by the hand and led me to that netted circular bed. He laid me down on my back before him. His mouth dragged from my lips to my neck, my neck to my breast, and finally he kissed his way along my tummy until he disappeared between my legs.

  I gasped as he used his fingers to open me up to him. His tongue was firm and decisive as it touched off the nerve center at my core. I couldn’t help but cry out. His fingers dug gently into my hips as he pulled me closer to his mouth, his tongue slathering against me until he felt my thighs shake against his ears. Then, with a deliberate look, he crawled up my body.

  I could taste myself on his lips as he kissed me. He cradled my head in his hands as he fit himself between my legs. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted this?” he murmured against my mouth and I shook my head slightly. “Every day from the day you left,” he whispered. “I ached to hold you in my arms. To feel you all around me, like you were made just for me.”