The Complete Groupie Trilogy Read online

He knew our time would come.

  At the moment I had more pressing matters. Tawnie had abandoned me that last night so she could leave with some of the members of the band – Giovanni included. She didn’t come back to the room all night long, and when she did I knew that she had crossed our line of friendship. I knew this because for the first time ever she would not take me into her confidence to brag about what she had done with “our” man.

  She had made the mistake of making an enemy out of me, but a worse mistake trying to claim what was rightfully mine.

  I hope she enjoyed her night with Giovanni.

  Because it would be her last.

  ~Andy~

  I had no idea what to expect when the plane landed in sunny Southern California that Friday in June. It was true that Alana had kept me up to speed on how things had changed almost overnight for the band after my drunken confession to an undercover reporter, but I hadn’t talked to Vanni at all since that day he left my hotel room.

  So while I knew the band, especially Iain and Felix, were beside themselves with joy that they were finally out from under the Carrington contract, I had no idea how Vanni felt about it – or about me – and I was too afraid to ask.

  The minute Athena got wind of Jasper’s indiscretion she pounced all over his weaknesses like a shark that smelled blood in the water. He could have his freedom, his lover and lovechild, but he had to release her from her contract to keep most of his money. Not only that but she made sure she negotiated DIB’s release from their contract, because she knew they would pay for the betrayal.

  Both Athena and DIB went westward to Graham Baxter’s record label in Los Angeles. Going to his biggest competitor was her final way of snubbing her ex, especially in the industry.

  But from what I heard from Jacob, who was mercifully still speaking to me, Jasper found it worthwhile to no longer have the albatross around his neck. He moved Lourdes and their new son back to New York City, and quickly became the toast of the town thanks once more to Iris’s public relations magic.

  And, of course, Jasper’s willingness to throw tons of money at the problem until it went away didn’t hurt. They threw parties, organized fundraisers (for children’s charities no less) and supported local politicians to the point that by June, most people had forgotten the scandal.

  In fact, it seemed like everything was happening as it should be happening. After Alana and Iain had made the news of their impending parenthood public knowledge, they received tons of gifts from well-wishers. Alana moved to the west coast branch of her PR firm and they already had a house close to the beach in a funky, quirky neighborhood.

  Now that they had some free time, Felix was able to go back to surfing. Even Yael was getting some sun and had lost his undead guitarist look.

  Graham had kept the boys more balanced, which made everyone in the band happier.

  It also gave them time for a personal life, which for Vanni meant moving in with Kat in Hollywood.

  That, Alana said, was still kept under wraps, although they showed up at major Hollywood events together. His status, on the record, was still single. Even Graham knew that he had to keep his biggest rock star available for all the female fans who loved him.

  It didn’t mean anyone would be able to get close to him though, especially some of us who still really did love him.

  It was that itty bitty fact that made me think twice when Alana invited me to their June wedding on the beach. She wanted me to stand up with her and share her special day because we had become fast friends since the whole hullaballoo back in New York. Unlike Vanni, who took it as a betrayal, I had unknowingly facilitated her happy ending where she, Iain and their baby could actually be a family. DIB was no longer the anchor keeping Jasper afloat with a heavy workload and uncertain future.

  Graham had been the total opposite of Jasper, allowing the guys to make up their own mind about marketing, music and touring. They knew what worked by now, and they knew what they were willing to give up to make things happen.

  So when the guys put off a tour until the next year, to take time to get their first album under the new label just right, Graham was supportive. There were other things they could do to keep the brand fresh in the minds of their fans.

  In truth I was kind of nervous about seeing Graham again too. Now that I knew Vanni was off limits, there was really nothing to stop me from pursuing a relationship with someone else. Not only had Graham expressed interest but he had certainly been one of the very few (if not the only one) who had ever piqued my interest in the past few years.

  He was a good man, and I was painfully aware those kinds of guys were in short supply.

  All these players, including Kat, would be at this shindig. And I was literally a bundle of nerves because of it.

  Both Iain and Alana picked me up from the airport, and they looked tan and happy. She was already putting on some baby weight, which filled out her sharpened features and made her lovelier than I remember her ever being. I got big hugs, including one from Iain that nearly lifted me up off the floor. He couldn’t express how grateful he was to me, but he did try.

  Had it not been for me spilling the beans, he didn’t even know if he would have stayed with the band. He had other priorities now. But thanks to me he could still make his music and have his family.

  I received similar sentiments from Yael and Felix, both of whom were tired of New York and ready for a change, both geographically and artistically.

  Vanni remained the biggest variable, but I was too afraid to ask anyone.

  By then everyone knew about our not-so-secret affair. I think the boys were more sympathetic than anything, as they knew just how much of a dog Vanni could be on the road. Since they already liked me beforehand, I think some, especially Yael, resented Vanni for playing around with my emotions when he had other options if he truly only wanted to get laid.

  But, as per usual, nothing was ever said, although I did hear from Alana that some of the other boys were trying their hands at lyrics and the new song, “Let Her Go if You Can’t Treat Her Right” might have significant meaning.

  Though Alana and Iain had insisted I stay with them for the trip I opted instead for a hotel suite. I hadn’t traveled since that horrible trip in New York, and while I was in Los Angeles mostly for fun I felt the pressing need to do a travel piece to make up for all the work I’d been missing.

  This was especially true given Jasper had listed me persona non grata for his entertainment magazines, and couldn’t care less about what was going on with DIB.

  When I would fit everything into my schedule remained to be seen. I had overbooked myself to the point of lunacy, probably unconsciously so to keep from having free time to pine about Vanni.

  The closer it came to the first event I’d have to see him the more nervous I got. I tried my best to smooth my shoulder-length hair, which was now more a normal shade of dark brown with no special colors. I was done with the rocker girl look, and just wanted to be Andy again… if I even remembered anymore who that was.

  I went back to my five outfits, with a couple of semi-formal dresses included in my suitcase (checked by necessity) for the wedding events. I went back to my clunky glasses and comfortable shoes.

  I had rewound everything but my heart, which still had Vanni’s name branded all over it. I wasn’t really sure how to make that go back to normal. Maybe seeing him with Kat out in the open might do the trick.

  If not I had all his fan emails, some of which went into graphic detail what they would do together, or what they had done together.

  The latter were far more infrequent, mind you, but their contents packed quite a punch.

  I considered dropping out of the whole DIB scene just to get my head on straight, but I couldn’t do that to Alana. She had so much on her plate with the wedding and the baby; I didn’t feel it was right to leave her hanging with all the fan stuff. Sure she could have hired someone but that seemed like a waste of time when I had already been doing it and need
ed no training (or money) to continue.

  So Andy Foster remained synonymous with the band, although I’m not really sure how Vanni felt about it.

  Alana told me that Graham was excited I had decided to stay on, and was willing to pay for my services. But that involved talking to him and I wasn’t ready to do that yet. Honestly, if it hadn’t been for the wedding, I wouldn’t be in Los Angeles at all – especially dressing in a semi-formal sun dress for our rehearsal dinner at the beach.

  Felix vetoed a cab and offered instead to come and get me on his bike, but I didn’t really feel like risking my life in Los Angeles traffic on a motorcycle. Instead Graham sent a car to pick me up in front of the hotel, and I breathed a sigh of relief that he wasn’t in the back. Arriving at this party with Graham on my arm, especially after all the insults that Vanni had leveled at me, seemed antagonistic. I wasn’t there to start a fight.

  I wasn’t even there to get him back since I finally had come to terms I never had him in the first place.

  Instead I got there alone and early, mostly to help with Alana’s preparation for the party, but mainly to avoid any awkward entrances. With my shaking hands and upset stomach I knew I would have marred this lovely event with projectile vomiting had I not found something to do with my time and attention aside from waiting for Vanni to show up with Kat.

  Nothing prepared me for their entrance. She was wearing a similarly sunny yellow dress which looked almost sweet against the Technicolor landscape of her body. Gone were the skimpy dancing girl outfits, instead she looked like what she probably was – a girlfriend.

  His long hair was loose around his shoulders, and he wore a light-colored flowing shirt with some loose-fitting jeans and sandals. They both wore sunglasses against the setting sun, and smiled wide for their hosts as they greeted Iain and Alana.

  I stood next to the bar as I nursed a sparkling juice drink – no alcohol – and tried to watch Kat and Vanni unobserved. They were cuddly, he was attentive, and if either of them were worried about my being there neither demonstrated it outwardly. In fact, they were happily lost within each other.

  They were almost impossible not to watch as they flittered from guest to guest, meeting familiar faces in unison like the couple they had become. From how close they stood and how he kept her on his arm it almost felt as though they were now some crazy combination of a person, rather than two individuals. “Katanni” they would likely be called in the press.

  Hell, I may even dub them that myself.

  I knew from their intimate body language he had won his latest conquest and I was effectively forgotten. He had eyes only for Kat. A vice closed around my heart as I placed my drink on the bar. “Andy?”

  I turned to find Graham standing behind me. He was in a nice shirt and slacks, in the same casual style as everyone else. He wore a big smile for me as he touched both my arms and leaned in to kiss my cheek. “You look lovely. It’s so good to see you again.”

  I kissed his cheek also. “You as well, Graham,” I said, and I meant it.

  “Who knew we’d be standing here when we first met in Vegas a year ago?” he commented. “I guess everything works out for the best eventually.”

  I glanced over to where Vanni sat on a barstool with the pixie Kat perched on his lap. “I guess so,” I murmured. They laughed and he played with her long locks. “I love long hair,” he had whispered to me once upon a time. “Gives me something to hold onto.”

  His eyes followed my gaze. He squeezed my arm, which he hadn’t yet released. “I’m glad you could come,” Graham said, dancing delicately around the reason why I might not have.

  “Why wouldn’t I?” I asked, trying my best to be flippant. “It’s all business. And most of these guys are my friends.”

  “It just takes one bad apple, you know.”

  I shrugged. “I can take it. I’m tough.”

  He smiled. “I have no doubt.” We got quiet for a second and I could tell he was weighing his words. “If you’re not busy I’d love to spend some time with you while you are in town. Brunch, maybe?”

  I hesitated only a moment. Graham was a nice guy, and harmless enough. Plus I liked him, and I was free to pursue that now. What else could I be waiting for? “That’d be lovely,” I said with a semi-forced smile. It would be lovely to spend time with someone who wanted to spend time with me. It just broke my heart it wasn’t the person I really wanted.

  “Then it’s a date,” Graham declared softly. He reached in for another kiss and then moved back into the crowd. I watched him go before I turned my eyes back toward where Vanni and Kat had been sitting, but only Kat remained.

  “Hello, Andy.”

  My stomach fell when I heard the familiar voice coming somewhere behind my ear. With a deep breath of courage I turned to face him. “Hello, Vanni.”

  We stood apart for a moment before he took me into a hug. “I’m glad you could come. I was worried you wouldn’t.”

  “Alana’s one of my best friends,” I stated unnecessarily. “I want to share in her big day.”

  He nodded as he glanced over at his bassist. Iain stood with Alana wrapped in his arms, his hands gently resting on her stomach as they chatted with the well-wishers that surrounded them. “They’re very happy,” he said. “I guess we have you to thank for that.”

  I turned back to the bar.

  “Andy, I think we need to talk.”

  I shook my head. “I think we’ve said all there is to be said.” My eyes met his. “And then some.”

  “That’s not how I want to leave it,” he said. “Do you?”

  I said nothing. I didn’t even look at him.

  “This is a business. And I’d like us to be friends. Just say I can come see you so we can talk things out.”

  I shook my head again. “It’s just not a good idea,” I said. “I’ve got a lot of work to do this weekend, and besides. This isn’t about us. It’s about them.” I motioned to Iain and Alana.

  The truth was I was petrified to be alone with him. Just his hug had branded his body back onto my memory, and I knew I would never be satisfied with any “talk” that didn’t end in his arms.

  “I hope you reconsider,” he murmured softly, and his voice ran across my frayed nerves like velvet.

  “I won’t,” I said without looking him in the eye, then darting far away from those brown eyes that could see every single lying breath I took.

  I still loved him, but I knew I could never let him see that again.

  So I did the only thing I could do. I stayed away from him. I plastered myself to Alana, making sure her every need was met and every desire fulfilled. But the longer the night lingered the more painful it became, especially since it didn’t seem as though Vanni and Kat were leaving anytime too soon.

  I determined that I would outlast them no matter how long they stayed.

  Graham must have sensed my discomfort because he came back around to chat me up. He was so sweet and so endearing I promised him I’d save him a dance at the wedding, and we could have lunch the day before I went back to Nashville.

  Vanni didn’t seem all that thrilled I was spending time with Graham, but I already knew that was because he suspected I had slept with him while we were together. I never bothered to correct that assessment simply because there was no point in proving how faithful I had been to him when he had never seen fit to make that a priority for himself. Let him think what he wanted.

  It didn’t matter anyway.

  Finally, when I couldn’t keep my eyes open another moment, I bid my goodbyes to Alana and Iain, and spared a hug for Yael and Felix. For Vanni I simply nodded my head. I didn’t even bother saying hello or goodbye to Kat. We didn’t know each other and there was really no point now.

  Graham reappeared at my side and offered me a ride back to my hotel in his car, so I agreed with a tired yawn. We didn’t say much of anything on the way back to the hotel, which I really could have walked if I wanted. But L.A. wasn’t a walking kind of town.

/>   As I turned to thank Graham I caught him staring at me the way he had in Vegas. He wanted to kiss me, I knew. Maybe more. Maybe he wanted to come up to my room; he just didn’t know how to ask.

  He just smiled and brushed he hair out of my face. “I’d almost forgotten how lovely you are,” he murmured.

  “You’re too nice,” I said, and I made no move to leave the car like I knew I should have.

  “I must be,” he said as he scooted closer. “Otherwise I’d ask you to go up to your room with you.”

  “Graham…”

  He put his fingers on my lips. “I know. It’s too soon.”

  I lost myself in his dark eyes before I nodded sadly. There was no hiding it from him. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  “Don’t be,” he assured with a half-grin. “I’m a patient man.”

  He reached over to kiss my cheek. On impulse I turned into it and allowed his lips to fall briefly on my own.

  It was a long, slow peck that allowed me to acclimate myself to another man’s lips. I luxuriated momentarily in the notion that he wanted me for me. I didn’t feel second-best, or runner up. I felt like a woman who was wanted, openly and honestly, by a man.

  Before he could deepen the kiss I scooted away and out of the car. I promised I’d see him the next day before I ran to the lobby and up to my room.

  Maybe I could love again, I thought to myself as I tried to memorize how soft Graham’s lips felt under my own. Maybe I could graduate to his holding me in his arms, and touching me where only Vanni before could reach.

  With a frustrated sigh I let myself into my room. When would I ever stop comparing everyone to Vanni?

  When would the longing dissipate for the feeling of his body against mine? His mouth crushed on mine? Those things belonged to someone else now. All I could do was watch from the sidelines and hope maybe someday I’d learn to love someone else, someone who could give me all the things I needed and wanted so badly.

  By the wedding the next day I felt even more lost than ever. From the time we all got up out of bed the theme was love and romance. The girls ate together and spent the day in deluxe spa accommodations. We got facials and massages, got our hair done and a mani/pedi. As stressed as any other bride might have been Alana was as peaceful as I’d ever seen her.