The Complete Groupie Trilogy Read online

  This was her day and she wasn’t going to ruin it with anxiety.

  Instead she dressed in her long, flowing dress with sheer sleeves from sparkling straps. Her empire waistline suggested a special baby bump growing underneath, but she still looked slender and petite as we wove flowers in her long, blond hair.

  We all walked along the beach road until we hit the sand, and then we stepped onto a pathway that led us down to the edge of a cliff overlooking the water. Yael played an acoustic guitar for our procession, and all the other band mates were standing up next to Iain.

  This included Vanni, who looked amazing in his light colored suit and the setting sun casting golden highlights in his hair.

  I tried not to look at him but it was impossible. Likewise his eyes were on me as I strode barefoot on the sand in my sea foam green dress in a similar style to the bride’s. His eyes were unreadable as I took my spot to the left of the altar, and we turned our attention toward Alana as she approached on the arm of her father toward her waiting groom.

  The sun set as they recited their handwritten vows to each other, pledging a lifetime of love and respect, and honor for their family first. It was beautiful and touching, and within a few sacred minutes they were bonded for a lifetime in front of their family and friends.

  As I watched my friends march back up the aisle and fell into step behind them along with the rest of the wedding party, I wondered briefly if I would ever be able to know what this felt like. I glanced up at Vanni, who had come to walk beside me, and wondered who – if anyone – could ever take his place.

  He gave me a small smile, and I had to will my heart to be strong against its false promises. It was a friendly gesture. That was all. It meant nothing. Not anymore. Maybe not ever. I was a fool to even fall prey to it for one more second.

  Since Iain and Alana had planned a more casual affair without all the pomp and circumstance of a traditional wedding or reception, I didn’t have to worry about speeches and the bridal bouquet. Instead Yael played his acoustic music and allowed everyone to mingle or dance as they felt led to. No one could break into the world that existed between the new husband and wife, who were lost in one another’s arms.

  This left me at a loss for things to occupy me, thus leaving me vulnerable when Vanni sauntered next to where I stood by the bar like a lonely wallflower. “Beautiful ceremony,” he mentioned off-hand as he glanced to where Iain and Alana swayed together on the dance floor.

  “Lovely,” I agreed. I glanced around. “Where’s your date?”

  He pointed out on the dance floor. “Dancing with yours.”

  I glanced over to where Graham and Kat danced politely on the edge of the floor near the sand. They laughed and chatted but there was no heat. Not like what happened between Graham and I in the car the night before with just a simple kiss. It soothed my ego somewhat that at least one man could choose me over someone else.

  Regardless, I still felt the need to set the record straight. “Graham isn’t my date.”

  “No?” Vanni raised an eyebrow.

  I looked away. What right did he have to any answers? “It’s not like I’m living with him,” I mentioned, probably more cattily than I should have.

  “Touché,” he commented with that damnable smirk. “Is there anyone special in your life, Andy?”

  I looked him straight in the eye. “Yeah. Me.”

  With that I walked away to the buffet, where Felix stood raiding the goodies. I virtually glued myself to his side in order to avoid getting ambushed by Vanni again. When he got the message loud and clear that I wanted nothing to do with him, Vanni returned to his date. Their subsequent cuddling was more than I could bear.

  Since I was already barefoot I stepped off into the sand and strolled down to the inky black ocean. I was calmed by the rhythmic sound of the tide, and the foamy white caps that rolled gently toward the shore. I didn’t stop until the sound of the wedding was a low hum in the distance, and then I planted myself down in the sand.

  As the minutes ticked by I wondered if Vanni would try to find me, and a tiny part of me hoped that he would. Sure I wanted to stay away from him because of the pull he still had on me, but there was a deeper hidden part of me that wanted him to try and reclaim me as his own.

  Or at least claim me in the first place.

  But when a male voice invaded my daydreams, it was not Vanni at all. I looked up to see Graham, holding his shoes in one hand. “Mind if I join you?”

  I shrugged and motioned to the spot on the sand beside me. He eased down and sat close enough I could feel his body heat, but not too intrusive that it invaded my personal space.

  He was respectful like that.

  “Beautiful wedding,” he mentioned, and I tried my hardest not to think about my earlier encounter with Vanni.

  “Lovely,” I found myself repeating again.

  “You look beautiful, Andy,” he said softly. “Even if you do look so sad.”

  I didn’t look him in the face. Instead I just shrugged again.

  “You’re not over him yet.” It was a statement more than a question, one that really didn’t require my affirmation. “That’s a shame,” he finally said.

  I glanced out at the ocean. “Yeah. It is.”

  “I know that no words help,” he said before he took my hand in his. “But I’m here if you ever need someone to listen.”

  I gave him a genuine smile. I knew that he meant well, and I knew that he was interested. He was just in the unenviable position of waiting for me to make up my own mind what I wanted. Or more specifically – make up my mind that I couldn’t have what I really wanted.

  I wasn’t sure if I was there yet, or if I’d ever be there. As long as Vanni orbited somewhere in my stratosphere I wasn’t sure I’d ever give up that tiny little kernel of hope that maybe, one day, he’d miss what was gone.

  “Thanks, Graham. I think I just have to feel this way until the feeling goes away. It’s still sort of brand new.”

  He nodded. “Hey, listen. Let’s do something tomorrow. Go to a museum or lunch or something. Get your mind off of things and let me show you some of my city.”

  “I don’t know…” I started to protest.

  “You have to work while you’re here, don’t you?” He had me there. “You pick the venue. I’ll send the car.”

  I started to turn down his eager request but one look in his earnest brown eyes and I was sunk. Here was a guy who wanted to spend time with me, and I was trying to find excuses to pine over the one guy who didn’t. Was I really that stupid?

  “Okay,” I agreed finally. “You can pick the venue. It is your city after all.”

  He smiled wide. “Great. It’s a date then. Or… whatever.”

  I had to laugh. He rose to his feet and reached out a hand to me to help pull me to mine. We walked hand in hand back to the party.

  Alana and Iain had already gone, but the party was still in full swing. Though I tried my level best not to, my eyes easily landed on Vanni and Kat where they swayed together on the dance floor. I knew from the look in his eyes he hadn’t missed who was on my arm, and he didn’t look entirely pleased about it.

  Good, I thought to myself. I glanced up at Graham. “Let’s go.”

  He nodded and escorted me off of the outdoor dance floor and on through the hotel lobby toward the parking lot.

  I didn’t look back at Vanni once.

  When Graham kissed me goodnight it was a longer peck on the mouth, but he didn’t press his luck. Instead he told me to be ready at 11:00 a.m. the following morning.

  When the car came around Graham hopped out in nice dress slacks and a casual shirt opened to the first button. He looked youthful and playful in baby blue, and like a proper gentleman he helped me into my side of the car.

  I let his enthusiasm set the mood for our “date,” which happened to be an afternoon in Beverly Hills. We strolled down Rodeo Drive and he escorted me in and out of shops, trying his best to convince me I should allow him
to buy something as a reminder of the trip. I finally settled on a scarf the same shade of green as my bridesmaid dress, and he looked ecstatic to be able to spoil me, if only a little.

  We finally stopped for lunch at a local Chinese restaurant where I chose their signature salad with ginger dressing, said to be their claim to fame. It was delicious, and Graham even ordered me a glass of their plum wine for us to toast our good fortunes. Despite my heart being trampled underfoot, and destroying my trustworthiness with several good friends, the fact DIB came out to L.A. was benefiting everyone positively overall. Graham offered a rather lucrative package for me to remain on the press team for the band, which he assured me was fine with all the members. All the stuff I had been doing for free, including the message forums and fan emails, he now negotiated a rather attractive salary to keep my services.

  I had a sneaking suspicion that Alana had been behind that.

  My contact with the band could be as limited as I wanted for now, he promised. They were busy working on their second album, the first with Graham’s label, and wouldn’t tour until the following year.

  All I had to do was show up in December for a fan event, which would begin the press push for the CD release.

  December seemed far enough away I felt confident when I committed my services. By then I should be sufficiently over my celebrity crush, star-crossed love affair or mental breakdown, whichever definition qualified. At least in the meantime I would get paid to do something I would have done anyway just to help out Alana.

  Graham looked especially triumphant when he returned me to my hotel that afternoon. I was surprised he didn’t invite me to share the day with him, but I sensed that he knew when to pull back. I clearly wasn’t over Vanni, and Graham didn’t strike me as the kind of person who would play second fiddle to any other man when it came to pursuing a woman.

  He had the patience of a gentleman, though I could tell that resolve was tested by the way he held me close in a lingering goodbye hug. When I finally pulled away I was speechless by the look in his eyes. It was painfully clear that he wanted me.

  He was just waiting to hear me say the words that I wanted him too. I let the moment pass without offering an invitation up to my room, because honestly I wasn’t ready. It wasn’t fair or right to use Graham to get over Vanni, and I knew at this point that was all it would be. There could be something legitimately between us, but I had to let go of Vanni first to give it a real chance.

  He leaned in for another peck on the lips, and I let his kiss linger there. My breath caught as he tried to deepen the kiss, and just for a moment I allowed the intimacy. I even kissed him back. He was breathing hard when he finally broke the kiss.

  “See you in December,” he whispered his not-so-subtle invitation. Instinctively I knew by then I would have to have an answer, and his kiss made me think by then I actually would.

  “See you in December,” I promised before I slid out of the car and walked into the hotel.

  The minute I let the lobby doors close behind me I saw that familiar long mane of golden brown hair. He was sitting at the bar, nursing a drink, and staring at the door expectantly.

  My brow furrowed as my feet made the unconscious trek to where he sat.

  “Nice date?” he slurred.

  He was drunk. I didn’t recall ever seeing him that way before. “It was very nice,” I said, sure that my smeared lipstick told its own story. Vanni stared at my lips as I unconsciously wiped my fingers around the edge of my mouth. “What are you doing here, Vanni?”

  “Waiting for you,” he said unnecessarily. “I told you before we need to talk.”

  “And I told you before everything had already been said,” I replied before I tried to turn and walk away.

  He grabbed me by the arm. “Are you afraid to be alone with me?”

  Yes. “No. I just don’t see a point. You made your choice.”

  “So did you,” he sneered. “But here we both are.” We stood staring at each other for a long moment. Finally, more desperately, “Let’s go somewhere private so we can talk.”

  I knew it was a bad idea. But I didn’t see a graceful way to disentangle myself from the scene otherwise. “Fine.” I led the way to the elevator so that I could invite Vanni up to my room for the last time.

  He stayed close to me on the ride up to the 10 floor, but he made no move to touch me or even speak, even as I dug out my key card and placed it in the slot.

  He held open the door and I walked in ahead of him, but he grabbed my wrist as I passed by. With a force he’d not yet demonstrated he slammed the door behind us and shoved me up against the wall in a commanding embrace.

  Before I could say anything his mouth was on mine, eradicating Graham’s kiss from before. My entire body went up in flames as his tongue forced its way into my mouth, rendering me powerless to stop my treacherous body’s response to his kiss.

  He had me pinned against the wall, my hips in his hands as he lifted me up and wrapped my legs around his waist. My head was spinning when he finally dragged his mouth from mine and buried itself in my neck. “Tell me he touches you like that and I’ll leave you alone,” he muttered into my ear. “Tell me you want him and not me and I’ll never bother you again.”

  I wanted to lie but I couldn’t even speak. I had melted against him and there was no denying what my body had already confessed. “Vanni,” I started, but it only made him groan in response.

  “Say it again,” he demanded softly as he carried me to the bedroom. He tore off his shirt after he threw me down on the bed, and before I knew it I was pinned under his weight against the mattress. His hands were reclaiming what had always belonged to him, and his mouth blazed a trail across the exposed skin of my neck and shoulders.

  My soft curves melted against the hard muscles of his body, and he knew just where to touch, just where to kiss to drive away all resistance. Months vanished between us and it felt like my heart had finally found its way home. The urgency of his masterful touch intoxicated my senses until I felt drunk beneath him.

  When his fingers slid up my bare leg under my skirt I finally snapped to my senses. The months between who we were in New York and who we were in Los Angeles had changed everything. This wasn’t a secret romance anymore, this was a clandestine affair. No matter what I did or said he would leave this hotel room and return to the house he shared with Kat. He wanted me only for a moment, when no one else had a clue what was going on.

  I grabbed his wrist with my hand and finally muttered, “No.”

  “No?” he asked as he nuzzled my neck, his teeth against my skin. “You want me, Andy. I can feel it.”

  “Yes, I want you,” I admitted. “In a way you’ll never want me.” I used all my strength to push him away. I scooted out from under him and off the bed.

  He turned over onto his side. “How can you say I don’t want you?” he wanted to know, when his body clearly indicated otherwise.

  “Because you chose Kat,” I reminded as I wrapped my arms around my body. It was suddenly very cold without his heated embrace. I turned my back to him as he rose to his feet.

  “And now I’m choosing you,” he said softly as he reached for me. “Why does it have to be more complicated than that?”

  I spun away from his arms. “Because it is,” I said.

  He grew frustrated and angry. “And what is Graham offering you, Andy? Marriage? Kids? You know he’s been divorced twice. Just because you can get him down the aisle doesn’t mean he’ll stay.”

  “This isn’t about Graham!” I exploded. “This is about me, needing you to go. To leave me alone. To stop playing these games!”

  “This isn’t a game…”

  “Yes, it is! That’s all it’s ever been. You want what you can’t have. The ultimate challenge. You need us to fall in love with you, but God forbid we expect you to love us in return.”

  “How can you say that to me? How can you doubt what I felt for you?”

  Tears sprung into my eyes. His us
e of past tense did not go unnoticed. He might as well have punched me right in the face. “Because you took it away without even telling me,” I said sadly.

  He had nothing to say to that, and in fact looked rather uncomfortable by the sight of my tears. So I did the only thing I could do. I let him go.

  “Goodbye, Vanni,” I said before I turned away.

  I didn’t turn back around until I heard the door shut behind him.

  ~Andy~

  Much had happened by the time I returned to Los Angeles in December, not the least of which I became a godmother to George Cullen Wallis, the newest addition to the DIB family. He arrived via a home birth in early November, and Iain was able to take a little more than a month off to spend with his new family thanks to the more lax schedule Graham had afforded for the band for just such an occasion. Nothing would really “happen” with the band until the big fan event scheduled around Vanni’s birthday, and then they would begin their tour by February with a big Caribbean cruise.

  Vanni and Kat became an “official” couple, though scuttlebutt had it that this was more Kat’s idea than Vanni’s. I had kept in constant communication with Alana about Talia and my concerns about her possessiveness, and we three sort of agreed that this new label and new band image gave Vanni the opportunity to reorganize his relationship with his fans.

  Kat was more invested in this change than anyone else, and I heard through Alana she had carefully interjected herself into the entire show, where he would focus his attention on her rather than sing directly to any fans. That she was now his girlfriend on record would hopefully keep fans from getting too close and too personal, though from what I could tell from the emails and the forum posts they really didn’t care much who was on his arm.

  They didn’t even qualify Kat as “competition” because they didn’t find her to be a good match for their Giovanni.